once upon a time...

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keswick, cumbria, United Kingdom
Once upon a time when no one was looking because dark glasses were in that autumn, and no one was listening because the popular music of the time was loud and brassy, the key to life was stolen by two no good good for nothing partners in crime who passed it on with sly winks and too much blusher to the only cat they knew who was up with the jive talk and down with the kids. if all goes to plan she’ll sling it to the back of her knicker drawer and it won’t see the disco lights again, until one day in the winter when the clouds fall like rain and the word on the streets is bring on the black hole, because as everybody knew all along this was only ever just a temporary measure...

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

okey dokey we got some things we need to talk to you about so listen up...

the first thing we need to talk about is a certain kazillion bazillion dollar corporation known as facebook  (in the temporary measure emporium it is customary to accompany all use of the word  facebook  with a shudder and an expression of mild horror

(we reserve our expressions of extreme horror for the times when people come in to the tearoom and ask for diet coke) so we would greatly appreciate it, if every time the word facebook  appears in this text, you wouldn't mind shuddering and expressing mild horror too. that would be super. even if you don't mind facebook . even if you love it, just do it for us, because we asked you nicely.  so the reasons why we are not their biggest fans include the following:

number one. 
they heavily endorse the concept of actually counting your friends.

here at the emporium we endorse the humble opinion that if you can count on the fingers of one hand some people you've been lucky enough to meet, that make you feel at least semi functional then yay for that. friends are not nectar points, or casino chips, it is surely not compulsory to pile 'em high. unless you really want to and it makes you super happy of course, in which case...carry on.

number two. 
they encourage a level of sharing among human beings that is frankly bewildering.

number four.  
we don't mean to sound all conspiracy theory but we hear on the anarchists grapevine (yes they have a grapevine) that they have weird links and sell terrifying amounts of information. but then so do google and every other major internet player. true. but they don't do it under such a smiley social arena while encouraging you to count your friends at the same time. 

number five. 
facebook  talks too much. it can easily be said that twitter is a forum for over sharing just as much as facebook  but twitter itself is reassuringly inanimate. (although give it time and they'll find a way of monkeying around with it) it presents the information and you can choose to read it or not read it- it lays it out for you to play it out. whereas facebook  is like an overbearing parent constantly suggesting new ways for you to make chums, and reminding you that someone you went to a dance class with in kindergarten is having their birthday today. if all the oh-no-machines-are-taking-over-the-world movies have taught us anything, it should be to prefer our technology less opinionated.

number six.
they are so damn pushy. and this is where it gets tricky for us. 

because...they set up a page for temporary measure that we neither asked them to or gave them permission to do, and they did this because people were tagging themselves in the shop (which was very nice of them and i'm grateful they liked us enough to think of doing that). and so there was a page on facebook  that was out there for anyone to claim. and so we had no choice but to claim it. and i don't really like that. choice is an important thing. even when you're a business and you obviously want as many people to hear about you as possible, there should still be a choice. just because you happen to be an gi-flipping-normous kazillion bazillion dollar corporation doesn't mean you should be cheeky.     

so...we now have a facebook  page. (don't forget the shudder) and like everything we do we're going to try and do it to the best of our ability and make it interesting and worth looking at. we're not really sure yet of how it all functions and the best way to go about it all - it took us long enough to work out blogger and twitter! and any suggestions would be gratefully received.
it's right here if you would like to have a look at it..


as always we really appreciate your support - without exceptionally marvellous people taking an interest in us we wouldn't be able to carry on making a strange living out of making stuff up, and we might have to go out and get proper jobs where we wouldn't be allowed to buy as many teapots. so thanks.

and now as an apology for getting all HEAVY here's some of our new fabric that we made. it's got beetle bugs and flowers on, which is about as un-heavy as it gets.