and it goes
like this...
once upon a time this
morning, a lady came in with a box of cakes and we had this
conversation right here (with some editing of sentence structure and
bad grammar and made up words and huffing on my part):
lady: would you like to
buy a cake for charity?
me: what charity is it
for please?
lady: (mumbles a
collection of initials that sounded like 'Piffles'. and then looks at
me as if 'Piffles' pretty much explains absolutely everything that
has ever needed explaining.)
me: (ever so patiently
because i am ever so patient) and what does your charity raise money
for?
lady: Faith.
me: well sorry, it's
just my preference, but i only give money to secular charities.
lady: oh we are not a
charity specific to any particular religion, we just encourage Faith
in general.
me: Faith in what?
lady: anything. (looks
at me with a gaze like a very clear puddle)
me: anything at all?
...(trying to be helpful) are you sure?
lady: yes anything.
just Faith in general.
me: what like Faith In
Yourself? or Faith In Democracy or Faith in The Existence Of Fairies?
lady: (getting a bit
frustrated now) YES faith in anything, even atheists have faith in
things.
me: (curious) like?
lady:like for
example...faith in the fact that you are going to buy a cake today!
(looks very pleased with herself for this dazzling piece of genius)
me: that's a little bit
vague...i mean that's really quite a conceptual idea for a
charity...i mean really, you may as well have a charity that raises
money for 'Pathos' or 'Gladness' or 'Ennui'.
(at this point we stare
at each other for quite some time.)
lady: Faith is
important. Everyone needs Faith in something.
me: hmmmmm well it kind
of depends. surely? not all faith can be good. for example Faith in
The Effectiveness Of Poking People With a Big Stick wouldn't be the
BEST kind of faith would it?
lady: (smiling) are you
sure you wouldn't like to buy a cake?
me: (not sure as to
whether i am still awake but very sure that i would like this
conversation to be over and very much wishing i had a big stick)
thank you but NO. i have quite a lot of cake as you can see...
(pointing at the cake counter, full of cake, that stands between us
like a barrier made of pure irony)
lady: (smiling harder)
well you have a lovely day anyway!
me: you too!
and we both lived
happily ever after (one of us slightly happier and more unburdened by
rationality than the other.)
